The horse is made ready for the day of battle. But victory rests with the Lord.
I woke with a heavy heart.
How would I complete all the work I needed to do to get ready for the Orientation Program without going into the school? To prepare for my Spanish classes? How would I get downtown to make my college ID?
With my mom and brother on vacation, that left me without transport. I’d called everyone I could think of and had run out of options.
Today being blind really stunk.
But I knew in my heart-of-hearts that something else did too. I just didn’t own up to it.
I threw up my hands and tossed my work ideas aside. I picked up a novel and threw myself on my bed. It was a Nicholas Sparks novel and drew me in.
Not that I could afford to be drawn in. But without the four walls of my classroom, I lost my discipline.
I found this and that to do. I read emails. I wrote emails. What was I doing? I needed to focus!
At 4 pm, I gave up trying to concentrate. I called my girlfriend and we decided to go to the swimming pool. I felt uneasy inside. My summer had ended. I knew I had to prepare for this year’s classes or get behind when school started. I’d regret the liberties I was giving myself now. After swimming, we’d be hungry, of course. So we’d have to grab a bite to eat. And today was Wednesday, so it would be good to attend a Bible class. Naturally.
Then I’d buckle down to my work. At 8:00 pm. I’d work really hard then. Probably.
Only one thing I didn’t count on.
I took out my trash and locked myself out of the house.
When I called my younger brother, he said, “I don’t know what to tell you to do. A locksmith is your best bet.”
Fine brother I had! Left me to cope on my own!
I went to the house across the street and asked them to help me break into my own apartment. After taking a look, my neighbor said he couldn’t go through a dead-bolt. “Best bet is to call a locksmith.”
I agreed. But cringed when I heard the cost. $150 at this time of night. If I waited till tomorrow, it would only cost $100. The neighbors offered to put me up for the night. Should I do that?
Lord, I am so tired. I am never going to finish my work now!
My computer seemed so dear to me now that I couldn’t get to it! My dog would remain all alone in an apartment blazing with the lights on. But no Amy. What would he think when I didn’t return?
If only I had gotten a ride to my school. I’d have gotten last year’s papers shredded and some lesson plans for this year completed. It wasn’t my fault I couldn’t see to drive, was it?! Not my fault I couldn’t meet with my principal, or preview the books I wanted to order. Not my fault my work didn’t get done…not at all. I didn’t have access to the tools of my trade. To any of my texts…
I was working myself up into a real lather by this time. You know the feeling. We all do.
Suddenly we found a locksmith that only charged $70.
“Tell ’em to come,” I shouted jumping up and down.
Home! Sweet apartment! Yeah, I’d get some more work done!
When the locksmith arrived, the neighbor helped me find my way across the street. I used him as a sighted guide as my cane was locked up in the house.
A few minutes later, I found myself safely on the inside of my door. I grabbed Buddy’s paws and we did an impromptu dance. He barked and his tail wagged wildly. We had a great first few minutes. We sure had missed each other!
But once I settled down I recalled how I had not completed any one of my goals. Worry perched like a lump on my chest. I glanced over at a couple of sets of house keys that lay on the counter. Useless bunch of keys. Where were you when I needed you?!
Then the Bible class popped into mind. My girlfriend had rebelled. “That group acted so lifeless. I wanted to shake them up, shout that God’s Word is alive and meets our ongoing needs!”
Recalling her words, I took a good hard look at my attitude. So I didn’t get a ride into work. So I didn’t get a ride downtown to get my college ID card made. What could I have accomplished if I had asked God to guide me with the resources I had at home? If God’s Word is alive and He dialogues with us constantly, then how come I didn’t ask Him to help me accomplish my goals today?
All the sudden the verse about the horse came to me from Proverbs. I hadn’t made the horse ready for battle. I didn’t do all I could do, so God didn’t give me the victory. I didn’t even ask Him. I acted like it was all in my own hands. I felt sorry for myself because I didn’t have a driver. But I didn’t try very hard to get my work done at home.
I felt like God had thrust a mirror right in front of me. The reflection I saw sure looked ugly.
Amy, where is your own key to a good attitude? Why didn’t you tap into the Me? I would have brought you victory, if you had only asked and trusted.
Had God taken my physical key out of the picture to remind me to use the spiritual key I already had inside me? The key of a submissive heart and positive attitude?
I turned the real key to see if it fit. Suddenly it opened the door to my heart.
God stepped inside.
I grabbed His hands and did an impromptu dance. We had a great first few minutes. We sure had missed each other!