Would you like to join a  “wet floor” sign heavy hitters club?

This isn’t any club that I’ve created so I take no credit for it.

What’s that you say? You don’t envy the members.

Do you even know who we are?

We are a select group of heavy hitters and long skidders (yep, the sliding kind) that outperform other hitters  and skidders. That’s why we’re the heavy hitters.

To be part of this exciting and noteworthy club, you need to dip into a  little bit of this and a little bit of that.  You might as well call the two special ingredients, “The Double LL Factors.”

Have I enticed you into the group yet?

Let’s look at the two factors: Low Vision and Low Traffic.

Are you ready for your Double L badge emblazoned on your suit jacket yet?

Simplified, it might look something like this:

The Double L Club

Although we tend to envision ourselves more like this:

The Double L Club - Heavy Hitters and Sliders

Both fit our circumstances at various times.

But, overwhelmingly,  majority vote went for the mascot.  I wonder why.

Still not convinced of our credentials?

It might just be your loss.

Let’s look at a typical day on our beat.

What happens?

Let’s go to Taco Cabana at our downtown City Center. There’s some downtime and it’s Low Traffic. Employees are told to “look busy.” So out comes the mop and  bucket and the ubiquitous bright yellow plastic wet sign placard. Along comes the unsuspecting Low Vision customer, who may or may not have a cane at his disposal.  If someone has Low Vision, that means his or her sphere of vision is reduced to little or nothing. So, it doesn’t matter what color this wet sign is painted, it isn’t seen at the height it’s set at, for certain.

It’s only felt.

It can send someone flying.

Or, it can go flying itself.

Like, across the restaurant.

Across the mall entrance.

Across the front of the bank.

It can end up in a tangle of legs.

Or a tangle of people.

It’s never a pretty sight.

For those unsuspecting souls sliding… skidding … tripping … kicking!

It doesn’t even need to be someone with low vision.  It could trip up someone preoccupied. That would be someone with Low Concentration, a caveat.

Now if that person thinks on his feet, he or she can shout “Touchdown!” as the wet sign skids to the other end of the restaurant, and if the moment were right, he could then  be “invited” to join a major league football team.

You curl your lip, put a hand on your hip and say, “Right. What’s the chance of that happening in my town?”

Anything can happen in the Double L Club, that’s for sure!

Look at this Olympian member extraordinaire… yes, you heard me correctly!

Reprinted with permission of this inspirational Double L club member, Ms. Tammy Home Hathaway.

Testimonial:

“I just want to let everyone know that my hubby (who has RP) has earned the Gold Medal of the RP Olympics. ” At this point,  wife Terry stops and gives a “rah-rah-sis-kum-bah!” cheer and nearly swoons. But in quick order, she regains her wits and continues. “Tonight, while we were at Target, Mark went off on his own while I was printing a registry from the Service Desk. After I was done, I went searching for hubby.

When I saw these 3 Yellow Signs of Doom, I thought “He couldn’t possibly have missed all three of these!!”

When I located dear hubby, I asked him “What route did you take to get to the electronics?”

He said, ‘the main route.’ Just like that.

Then I asked him “How on earth did you miss all 3 signs?”

He looked around.  “What signs? I didn’t see any signs!”

The club cheers.  But wife, Terry, hushes  everyone to finish her story.
“I’m so proud of him!” *sniff, sniff.*

“… getting weepy here thinking how talented he is.”

Mark Hathaway just before receiving The Gold!

We’re all extremely proud of Mark, too.  He’s our Olympic hero! He somehow managed to make it around not 1, not 2, but 3 wet floor signs without a slide in sight.  We might have to make him our season spokesperson. I wonder if he’d take that on?

If I haven’t convinced you of the select group I’ve invited you to join, I’m wasting my breath.  I’ve explained a little about the name, shown you our elite emblem, illustrated a typical day of practice and given you a bona-fide testimonial. What more can I say?

We’re not all at the Gold level, obviously,  and able to dodge ’em. Most of us are still practicing at the Heavy Hitters level … but one day, we will make a name for ourselves!

Wait a minute. Before you shred this, think about the opportunity you’re giving up.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer!

The Double L Club.  Is it for YOU?

If so, sing along with us as we call out our anthem, “Whoops!  There goes another … wet sign!”

The Double L Club
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4 thoughts on “The Double L Club

  • March 7, 2014 at 2:00 pm
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    Wow- great writing style. Thanks for sharing!!

  • March 7, 2014 at 2:20 pm
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    This sounds like a fun club! but i do not like slipping.. lol

  • March 7, 2014 at 2:26 pm
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    So glad you enjoyed it, Marya! Before I ever struggled with the wet floor signs, I had the traffic cones in the Japanese subway challenging my “fitness.” =)

  • March 7, 2014 at 2:29 pm
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    Kungphoo,
    You’re so funny! I bet the main reason is that you’ve got your own club going on there, Kung Phoo Fighting. =) I guess priorities…

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