Jesus the Other Sun

Guiding me along the lighted path…

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SWEET GIFT OF MOTHERHOOD

Dreaming of motherhood…

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promises us is faithful.–Hebrews 10:23, NIV

Doctors and nurses formed a semi-circle around my bed. The consultant took my hand and said, “I’m sorry. Your baby died yesterday. She lived for eight days. “

I bit back the tears until after they filed out of the room. Then I put my head under the covers and sobbed. I wished my husband were here to help me bear the pain.

My beautiful baby Noor had died. I never even got to hold her!

The consultant had warned me. “She’s ten weeks premature and has only 25% chance of survival.” I’d nodded and understood intellectually. But, emotionally, her death came as a crushing blow five weeks into my crisis-filled hospital stay.

Motherhood had been for other women–until age 38 when I found myself pregnant with twins. I wanted to fill my life with these two precious beating hearts–longing for daughters. I’d felt the first kick the night before my 20th week doctor’s appointment. A baby is moving! Lord, which one?

The next day at the appointment I learned one baby had died. Shortly after, I found myself and my remaining twin fighting for our own lives. That ended with Noor’s death and a long recovery period for me.

As I prayed about my losses over time, God clearly showed me how He had answered my prayers. I remembered my joy in carrying them, the fun I had wearing maternity clothes and my excitement when that first kick came. I remembered my exhilaration every time the nurses let me listen to my baby’s heartbeat in the hospital. I had experienced motherhood with my twins. God had been faithful. My grief turned into a celebration of their short lives.

Prayer: God show me Your perspective on whatever I go through, especially when it doesn’t come in the package I expect and help me to take the best away from th e experience.

I asked God to show me His perspective. He helped me to paint the beauty of my brief motherhood experience

You can find this devotional and others testifying to God meeting our needs in God Still Meets Needs. Contact me to buy your discounted, autographed copy of God Still Meets Needs. Or pay a little more and purchase it directly from Amazon HERE.

You’ve just read “Sweet Gift of Motherhood” by Amy L. Bovaird, September 2015. If you liked this post, make sure you LIKE it, SHARE it with your network and do be sure to leave a comment!

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8 thoughts on “Sweet Gift of Motherhood

  • September 18, 2014 at 3:17 pm
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    Sorry for your loss. We too struggled with having children but were fortunately blessed with two (even though we were well into our mid 30’s).

  • September 18, 2014 at 3:30 pm
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    Dear Scott,
    Thank you. Your comment reminded me that so many struggle in this area.Whether it be difficulty conceiving, waiting on the timing of it to happen, or like me, facing and overcoming loss. So happy to hear that you have two beautiful children now to bless your lives.
    Amy

  • September 18, 2014 at 4:25 pm
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    I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story I am sure it will help many others.

  • September 18, 2014 at 4:27 pm
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    So sorry for your loss, Amy…..Thank you for sharing your thoughts with this post 🙂 God Bless

  • September 18, 2014 at 5:03 pm
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    So so sorry to hear this, Amy. It’s posts like these that put my fatigued life with a baby and demanding but very gifted son into serious perspective. I went through an abortion in 2011 and was blessed with another chance to give birth – again, a girl. All the ropes of getting pregnant, pregnancy, giving birth and of course, parenting, is one big roller coaster. My thoughts are with you.
    Dorit Sasson
    Giving a Voice to Your Story
    http://www.GivingAVoicetotheVoicelessBook.com

  • September 18, 2014 at 5:24 pm
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    Thank you, Shauna. I hope it will encourage other women who have lost babies–or even twins. I found when I let go of my own pre-conceived ideas, God comforted me in a special way.

  • September 18, 2014 at 5:25 pm
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    Joan,
    You are so welcome.
    Amy

  • September 18, 2014 at 5:27 pm
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    Hi Dorit,
    Yes, it is one big roller coaster!
    Thanks/
    Amy

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