Jesus the Other Sun

Guiding me along the lighted path…

* * *

Playing Hide-n-Seek

“Ready or not, here I come!” Talia was playing hide-n-seek with her little sister, Fiona, and her cousin, Lily.

Soon I heard a little giggle. Fiona was behind a skinny tree.

"...8-9-10! Here I come, ready or not!"

“I can’t see you,” Talia teased, “But I can hear you.”

“I’m right here,” came Fiona’s innocent voice. “Look!”

“Oh, there you are,” she said, tagging her.

Lilly called out, “Find me!”

“I can see you,” Talia said smugly.

“Come get me, then.”

Talia mumbled to herself, “She was right here. Where did she go?”

God doesn't play hide-n-seek or trick us but we often get sidetracked by this game ourselves.

When Talia was circling the area, Lilly jumped out from behind a bush. “I tricked you. Here I am! ”

Talia stood, hands on her hips. Both girls collapsed on the ground, giggling.

As I watched them play and listened to their dialogue, it dawned on me that their game reminded me of my vision ups and downs. Like what happened to me the other day.

I set the recyclable container at the front curb, perplexed.

“Where are all the trash barrels?”

None of the neighbors had either their recyclables or their trash out. Wasn’t today Thursday—garbage day? I checked my watch. 7 am. I looked down the street a second time, first one direction, then the next, s-l-o-w-l-y. Nothing. I mentally went through my week—yep, Thursday all right. Did we have a holiday? None I could think of. So, should I take the recyclables back in? What do the neighbors

"Isn't today trash day?"

know that I don’t? I took a last look down the street. This time, I saw a garbage container in every driveway on both sides of the road. That brought a comical groan.

“My vision is playing hide-n-seek with me again!”

The ophthalmologist explained my problem once to me. I still had irregularly-shaped “islands” of residual vision—where the rods and cones hadn’t disintegrated yet. When one eye missed a detail, sometimes an island in the other eye caught it. But it all depended on how I looked at any given object, the lighting and perhaps the angle of my eye. Who knew?

How many times did this happen each week? Too many to count. But when it did, it always took me by surprise. Sometimes I did get the wrong day, or the wrong time, or look in the wrong place. So how could I know if my eyes were playing games with me or if it were simply not paying attention?

I grapple with this quite often. When people ask me what I can see, I always say, “I’m not sure.” It seems to me like I have “normal” vision but then I run into or fall over something. For example, I turn and walk into a wall or fall over the open dishwasher. These are daily reminders I’m missing quite a lot. But what? I’m lucky when my cane finds out before I do. That’s the “hide” part of my problem. Like the game, the “seeking” comes after. Sometimes details magically appear, as they did with the trash barrels, or not so ideally, when I collide with them.This hide-n-seek phenomenon taunts me. Like Talia, I feel deceived. But I purposely choose to respond like Fiona and Lilly. It’s good to fall back on a sense of humor, even better to dissolve in giggles from time to time. I distinguish what I can the best I can and move forward.

Thoughts about hide-n-seek and my unstable vision led me to another parallel. My faith sometimes plays tricks on me. At times, it’s  so strong and real that I walk hand-in-hand with God. I can see God’s will for my life, feel His protection, trust His guidance and protection toward me. Other times, my faith is weak, and my relationship to God seems distant. Just as my steps falter when I can’t see, so my faith falters or even disappears for a little while. I don’t like that to happen. I’m not very steady on my feet. I need His constant presence in my life, like I need my cane.

"I'm right here!"

Can you relate? Does your faith ever play hide-n-seek with you? As much as I want my faith to be constant, it fluctuates and I find holes where there shouldn’t be. But that’s silly, isn’t it? Just like Fiona called out, “I’m right here!” so is God. Even if we can’t see Him, He’s in plain view. Seems contradictory, doesn’t it? But He promised never to leave us nor forsake us. We see Him with our hearts. He also said, “Seek and ye shall find.” When we search for Him, we will always find Him.

You and I may not have a choice about how well we see physically. We might be near-sighted, far-sighted, or going blind. Faith is a tool, like my cane is.  Each of us can use our faith-tool to lead the way, to avoid crashing into problems. And if we do find ourselves in the midst of them, with our faith guiding, we can move forward, just as I do with my cane.

Have you struggled with your faith lately? In what area are you forging ahead with your faith-tool? Do you find God where you are seeking Him? You are reading Playing Hide-n-Seek. If this  spoke to you, please share you experience in the comments below and share it with a friend who needs encouragement.

© Amy Bovaird, 2013.

Playing Hide-n-seek
Spread the love
Tagged on:                                                             

Leave a Reply