A Sight For Sore Eyes

The Lighter Side to Facing Vision Loss

***

I DIDN’T SEE THE FLOOD

You know the Mounds Almond Joy commercial with the jingle, “Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t?”

Most of the time, I feel like a nut–not an almond, or a Brazil nut, but a nutty person!  And it’s all because of my unpredictable poor vision, which keeps me (and oftentimes, those around me) laughing.

Having low vision, I get myself into strange predicaments either because I only see part of what is happening or I don’t see it at all. To make it worse,  of course,  I don’t know what I’m not seeing.

Like the time I caused a flood of monumental proportions around mealtime as a guest at a church gathering.

In line for the potluck meal, a friendly woman struck up a conversation with me.  We loaded up our plates and sat down.  “There’s a table with drinks over there. Can I help you get something?” my companion offered, noting my cane.

“No, I’ll be  fine.”

"Someone get that cup!"

A little while later,  I became thirsty. The thought of a glass of sweet  iced tea seemed to fit the bill so I made my way over to the refreshment table. There, I picked up the only cup,  a Styrofoam one, and placed it under the nozzle of the large ice tea container and flipped the lever forward.

Whoosh! The cup flew to the floor.

Uh-oh. I bent over to pick up the cup but forgot that the ice tea was still flowing out since I couldn’t actually see it.  Suddenly, I heard it!  So to hide what I thought was a little mistake, I thrust the cup under the spigot again to catch the iced tea.

A woman  rushed over. “Dear, can’t you see…” The woman spied me standing awkwardly with my cane. “I mean, you can’t see it.  But there’s a biiiiig hole in the bottom of your cup,” she said, drawing out the word ‘big,’ as only southerners can.  “Don’t worry. Um, it’s…it’s… all right. ”  the woman said, her voice sounding more than a bit panicked. The next moment, a cascade of sweet tea shot through the cup in my hand, sending it flying once more while the rest of the sweet tea gushed with the unchecked power of Niagara Falls over the edge of the table.

“The next moment, a cascade of sweet tea shot through the cup in my hand, sending it flying once more while the rest of the sweet tea gushed with the unchecked power of Niagara Falls over the edge of the table.”

“Turn it off, turn it off, ” shouted another woman.

Another called, “Get that cup!” Like it was a a runaway fugitive.  Stop! Don’t let the baddie get away!

Soon, several blurry bodies sped over to organize a lined flood patrol, passing down paper towels. With dropped jaws, they spoke in hushed words of disbelief.

“It’s the strangest thing….”

“I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“…a hole in the cup.” At this point, several heads moved in to inspect the defective cup, now in custody.

I felt my face heat up several degrees as I slunk away from the small crowd. Then I sat down, and the humor hit me.

Thank God, I didn’t have to see this entire mess clearly!

I picked up a fork and took a bite of my pecan pie, determined to enjoy the rest of the meal.

I could hear the women, still in a state of heightened emotion, when they sat down around me once again.

Then one lady said, “Psssshhhhh,” and covered her mouth to hide the laughter. At first, I didn’t understand the sound she made and I thought she was hushing the women. Then from her laughter, I realized that she might, just might have been imitating the sound of the escaping sweet tea! Her droll throwback  set off the other woman and pretty soon the other women got to laughing.

I felt like a celebrity when they started patting my back and saying “A hole in the cup!” again and again, letting their laughter flow.

Just like the iced tea.

***

What kind of unanticipated awkward  situation have you found yourself in that’s really been only partly your fault? Share it in the comments below.  As usual, if you enjoyed this story, LIKE it and SHARE it on your social media page.
You have just read “I Didn’t See the Flood” Copyright August 10, 2014 by Amy L. Bovaird.
I Didn’t See the Flood
Spread the love
Tagged on:                                                                             

16 thoughts on “I Didn’t See the Flood

  • August 11, 2014 at 3:14 pm
    Permalink

    What a fun story! I needed that humor today. I guess you’ll be checking your cups for holes from now on…

  • August 11, 2014 at 3:22 pm
    Permalink

    I’ve found on more than a few occasions that my low vision really is a unexpected gift that brings about some of the most humorous of sitations. Thanks for the Monday Morning laughter Amy.

  • August 11, 2014 at 5:00 pm
    Permalink

    Yesterday I dumped a pot full of macaroni into the kitchen sink before I realized that I was holding the colander…upside down. Good thing I keep the drain screen in. Had a ham sandwich for lunch instead.

  • August 11, 2014 at 5:21 pm
    Permalink

    Life is imperfect and a good sense of humor is a welcome survival tool!

  • August 11, 2014 at 6:41 pm
    Permalink

    Amy, like you I have found that if I cannot laugh at myself…others will do it for me. LOL It is so good to be able to take yourself lightly. Loved this post. I try to take most of my ‘mistakes’ in stride too, it makes my day so much more enjoyable when I do.

  • August 12, 2014 at 12:21 am
    Permalink

    Hi Jen,
    Totally agree! It does make your day so much more enjoyable. Sometimes it’s difficult not to stress in public but I try to be low-key about it when things happen!
    Amy

  • August 12, 2014 at 12:23 am
    Permalink

    Yes, I will! And I don’t think I’ll ever look at a Styrofoam cup again without remembering that incident!

  • August 12, 2014 at 12:25 am
    Permalink

    Stephanie,
    Thanks for reading it! I love how you put that: an unexpected gift!
    I’m sure we can fill a book full of comical situations from our experiences!
    Amy

  • August 12, 2014 at 12:27 am
    Permalink

    Quick change of plan!
    Great anecdote! Thank you for sharing it, Quincy!
    Amy

  • August 12, 2014 at 12:29 am
    Permalink

    Carol, you’re right, it’s a great survival tool! It also serves as its own catalyst and breaks the ice in a crowd…at least that’s what I’m finding!

  • August 12, 2014 at 12:31 am
    Permalink

    Ha ha! Not sure I want that kind of celebrity status but I’ll accept it for now! ;D

  • August 13, 2014 at 3:57 pm
    Permalink

    I can’t put into words how impressed I am that you take the time to respond to every comment Any! In my experience, that’s almost unheard of, but to me it demonstrates a high degree of moral character and respect!

  • August 13, 2014 at 11:33 pm
    Permalink

    Thank you, Quincy!
    I really cherish those who take time to read my blog and share their responses with me. I’m so encouraged. It’s really a big privilege to connect and respond to each person. Thank you for your thoughtful observation! =)
    Amy

  • August 16, 2014 at 9:08 am
    Permalink

    Oh Amy, this story is hillarious! I love how you sat down to eat while the other women fussed around to mop up the flood of sweet tea, it sounds like a Laurel and Hardy moment of comedy chaos – lovely to read it and I am smiling with you.

  • August 16, 2014 at 11:32 am
    Permalink

    Ha ha! Maribel, the best part of vision-impairment is leaving the chaos to capable eyes!

Leave a Reply