Is God Faithful?
Can I Trust Him When I’m in a Time Crunch?
Sometimes my word-wrestling leaves me exhausted and I delete whole paragraphs with little to show for a day’s work. I wasn’t meeting my self-imposed deadlines, couldn’t manage my time and promised my editor writing I couldn’t deliver. I don’t know why the challenge to write stories of my experiences should be so difficult, why my take-away eluded me, why the right words wouldn’t come.
I had set a goal of 5 stories per week and I was lucky to finish 3.
God, you planted this seed to encourage others through my experiences! Come on be faithful! Ya gotta help me. I can’t do it on my own!
That day I had a speaking engagement to prepare for but I wanted to finish editing a piece I’d written the week before. I had enough time, didn’t I? I didn’t have to leave until five o’clock. I could do both.
Before I sat down to write, I had to find my outline for the talk. It had to be on my computer somewhere! I searched for ‘Vision Loss Journey’ on my computer documents.
Nowhere to be found. I looked in all my manila files (20-25 around my apartment). Not there. I searched my files again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
God, come on, help me!
I looked through the many manila files in my top drawer. How did I accumulate all these files, I wondered. Unfortunately, none of them contained my outline for my twenty-minute talk. I couldn’t recreate it. I needed that paper. An hour went by, no paper, no writing done.
God, help me! I know you will.
But did I really know that? What if He didn’t come through for me?
I tried not to panic at the dwindling time. Going through my files one more time on my breakfast bar, I opened one with the label “Mobility Matters” In teeny tiny print next to it, I’d written “Lions Club.” I opened it up … and there it was! Not quite what I thought. 7 main points about my book, and 3 life scriptures.
This is it! This is it! Thank you for coming through for me!
I set that aside. I’d practice it later. Now I had to pare down all the pronoun reference that crept into memoir writing — any I, me, my, mine would have to go. I got to work.
Suddenly I recalled a part of a forgotten exchange between another person and me in the story I was working on. I added the words, and it gave more color to my tale. As I worked on my take-away, I had a vague idea of what I wanted to say but it wasn’t coming together. I wrote hour after hour. Chopped paragraphs. Added lines. Cut them. I reread my piece to see if God would whisper the answer through my written words.
Please God, direct me. Show me what You want me to leave my readers with.
Suddenly a line I’d written earlier in the piece jumped out at me and the whisper came. I finished my piece. It had just the right ending!
Thank you, God!
After that, I checked my email. I found out that the last piece of my cover was completed. I had a new cover for my work in progress!
What marvelous timing for God to gift me with my new cover! I decided to print copies off for my audience that night.
It took time but I finally had enough printed off. Suddenly, I decided to share the piece I’d just finished with my listeners too. It was three pages, single spaced.
A lot of ink. But I was so excited at how the story came together I wanted to share it with the audience that night. So I made copies. To my horror, I forgot to divide it up by page and it all got messed up. I had page two and three also on the back of the cover, instead of page one. What a waste of ink and paper!
It took over an hour to make new copies! That left only half an hour to get ready to leave. In a burst of energy, the rush was on. I had difficulty putting in one of the special “eye” earrings I sometimes wore. In fact, it wouldn’t go in. So, again, I turned to the One who is supposed to make everything fall into place. I couldn’t do it on my own.
God, I really need you to help me now!
We left on time for my speaking engagement.
At the restaurant, I found my way over to where I needed to be and received a warm welcome from the Lions Club leader. But the dim lighting frightened me. What if I couldn’t see my notes?
God, help me! I need more light! I’m gonna make a fool out of myself.
The woman in charge came over and asked me if the seat was all right. Or would I prefer to sit near my books? I looked over on the other side of the room. The light was shining on my books!
“Yes, I would like to sit near my books. Thanks!”
As it drew time for me to speak, the typical qualms I had surfaced.
God, help me! I need confidence to speak Your message boldly tonight.
As I stood up and looked at the blurry faces around me, the words came. Boldly. With excitement. The audience laughed at my first anecdote. They listened to life verses as I explained how God had hand-delivered them to me one-by-one to meet different needs.
“I have a special surprise for you tonight. The cover of my book is hot off the press.” I explained how I had also included one of my stories. With a dramatic flourish, I lifted the reading samples off the table and handed them to someone to pass out.
When I finished speaking, the crowd buzzed and clapped.
I took my seat, flushed and happy. I had been a vehicle for God that night.
God had been a vehicle for me all day long.
Yes, God IS faithful.
When you are working on your goals, how do you encourage yourself? Do you depend on yourself or ask for help?
You have just read, “Is God Faithful” by Amy L. Bovaird. Copyright January 29, 2016. Please take a moment to leave a comment and brighten my day!