Adapting to the Mobility Needs Across the Spectrum of Sight Loss

Post Title: Adapting to the Mobility Needs Across the Spectrum of Sight Loss.

The setting is a posh charity dinner for a local women’s center. A matronly-looking blonde decked out in shimmery dangling earrings, a glittery black blouse, dark dress pants and heels enters the dining area. A slightly-younger, tall bearded man in a suit walks with her holding onto the crook of her arm. The woman releases his arm and she pulls out the chair for her companion. He sits next to her. They look like every other attendee in the room. When the waiter brings the beverages, the woman points out his drink is at the noon position, his silverware is on the right and the napkin on the left. He is completely blind, and the woman has partial sight.

Nadene and Matt are two members of my Lions Club. I am the third vision-impaired member. I marvel at the support Nadene provides for Matt. It’s so natural, with enough guidance but not overbearing.

I have observed another member with Matt. At a certain point, she served as his O & M (Orientation and Mobility) instructor. She has given us both rides home from our meetings. In the parking lot of Matt’s complex, she reminds him to use his cane with wide sweeps so he can stay on the walkway leading up to the door. He murmurs assent and exits the car. She doesn’t hover. She lets him move independently. After a few minutes, she, too, leaves the car to ensure he has made it all right to the lobby of his complex.

Other members follow behind Matt to ensure he gets in or out of the car or restaurant all right.

How do people know what help to provide? I wonder if it is any easier if it’s a vision-impaired person providing the aid?

I’ve lately become more aware of the process of giving and receiving help due to sight loss. Some people watch and offer help when needed. Others ask, at least for the first time, but probably more when they are in a variety of circumstances.  Kiriam has been trained when to offer help and when to let an individual move independently.

Before I had my own big sight loss in 2008, I had no idea how to offer to accept help. I didn’t know any blind people at all. When I had to ask for mobility help or even accept it, I found it awkward, embarrassing and uncomfortable, especially if the person took my hand as if I were a child. I didn’t know how to guide a person to help me so I felt natural.

I still struggle, in ways, with this today. But I am much better at offering help to others with mobility issues.

I’ve become bold and ask because of the sight loss continuum. What one person can see varies from what another sees, even if they both use a white cane.

Asking a vision-impaired individual is the best way to ensure we offer the appropriate help. And remember to respect the response.

Don’t be offended if the person refuses your help. He or she knows what is necessary, and likely wants to keep as independent as possible.

When asking, I’ve noticed some people start out with “What can you see?” as they find it helpful to get a gauge on the other person’s vision range. “Shadows and light” are different from “You are blurry.” Service-oriented people at airports often ask this question.

I personally find it unhelpful as my own vision is problematic, and hard to describe. So that throws me into a quandary of how to respond without going into a lot of explanation. When I approach a situation, I focus on asking how I can best help someone instead of asking for what may be considered personal information. But everyone is different.

Recently, I had the experience of guiding one of the speakers at Disability InSIGHTS. At 6 foot, 4 inches to my 5 foot, 1 inch, the difference in height made guiding a little comical. He dropped his hand down to my shoulder. He may have had such a variety of guides that it seemed perfectly natural to him, I never asked. But I noticed how natural and graceful it seemed when others a bit taller offered him help.

I wonder why I never asked. Did I fear it was too personal a question?

I was showing another friend who is blind my apartment, which contains a variety of international pieces of artwork I love. I wanted her to feel the textures and shapes so she could have a better idea of what my prize possessions looked like. It was so natural.

I am a lot more verbal nowadays than I used to be.

In 2014, I invited Mo, my first friend with sight loss, to my book launch held at my church. I had written about him in my book, Mobility Matters, and it thrilled me when he accepted my invitation and even answered questions about sight loss with me. He talked about being completely blind.

When it came to mobility, I guided him verbally. But after it was over, I forgot to mention he had to take a step down outside the building. My unfortunate friend fell down the step. He told me a few days later, he had a messy fracture in his ankle. Imagine my horror! All because I neglected to see he needed more instruction.

In my memoir, Cane Confessions, one of my stories deals with a woman who feared for my safety around her stairs. Now that I look at it from her viewpoint, I can better understand her fears, though it was still comical to hear her responses!

In 2019, when I offered to host Max, my thoughts jumped to that frightening scenario on the church steps with Mo. What if I forgot to mention something to him and he hurt himself because of me? I’m happy to report I didn’t stress over it. But I also didn’t take him upstairs to visit my apartment. I explained how I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but I was unsure of my guiding abilities around the steps.

He understood and said from what my brother had mentioned, there were narrow passageways and it would be difficult.  It really made me feel good my brother had also anticipated my friend’s feelings on the matter and explained. But I noticed something else, I didn’t fear any other injury except for the stairs.

This question interests me because I want to make it as easy and natural for others to guide / help those with vision loss as possible, especially people who are not accustomed to being around individuals who are blind or partially-sighted.

What is the best way to put them at ease?

Since I’ve struggled with both offering and accepting help at various times, I’d love to get some feedback.

If you are vision-impaired, what do you say or not say? Any advice to put sighted individuals at ease and better know how to approach and offer help to those with differing amounts of vision loss?

You have just read “Adapting to the Mobility Needs Across the Spectrum of Sight Loss” by Amy L. Bovaird. © November 12, 2019.

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